take a step back and look at the big picture.
will it be more beneficial to her and us, or my persistency is holding everyone down?
i do not want this to fall apart, i want to hold on to it as long as i can.
i am afraid to face the aftermath.
i am afraid to see the outcome.
it had been 19years, he had always been in the picture.
at least in my mind, he does.

i still remember my 19th brithday, the birthday greeting he sent. i was over joyed. that was the greatest thing i ever received from him, exactly on my birthday...