What lay ahead lay ahead.

i am thinking to get odd jobs... like strolling some tai tai dogs or paid to clean some mansion with basic like $30 an hour. HA! just dreaming.

Same Issue.

Yesterday my mum told me this " i should get involve and helped out in the household chores and stop living in my own world." My mum got a point. i am living in my own world because i choose to abstain myself from my family matters.

Family matters- going round financial stuff AND taking care of nieces and their stuffs.

phew. i am not even their parents, but i have responsibility for them? that's is why i shut my door at home and thankfully i have my own rooms because i just want to soak up in my own world and do my own things. i will blast my music and drown all frustration and nonsense cries.

is frustrating to me because firstly i am not their parents and i have to take of them, secondly when they cry even i have my door closed i am not that hard hearted and let them go on crying without going out to check on them if they are alright. Thirdly, household chores. My house is like a obstacle course and when it comes to cleaning, i just want to retreat into my room!

my family now is about raising my Sister's kid, getting them feed, clean, school and get to bed on time. All these are the agendas for the everyday life. it take up the whole entire day and it will keep going on in circles This-Is-The-Life-For-Raising-Kids. No Life. Mundane life especially when they are not your kids and you don't have to pledge any commitments to them. You get what i mean?

LOVE

i am feeling good because i finish 1 typography out of 4, and i am happy with my end product. :) though it look nothing like how i sketch, but it does came out like the way i wanted.

sketching it out on paper....

scan it to my computer and do the magic....

How to kill BLUES

I read from somewhere, some time ago on

HOW TO KILL BLUES!

i can't remember the entire list but i do remember a few that i agree with,

tested and proven today and on past occasions.

#1 Sing~!

i sang till my vocal went hoarse. i was singing loud to vent my faustration. okay so i wasn't singing

but it helps to release whatever that i feel moody inside.

i wanted to practice on my guitar but my guitar is badly out of tune and it affected me

so SCREW IT.

#2 Dance dance

yea i just dance in my room, spin twist turn like a Bayblad in my room accordingly to the music

i love. hint* blast yall music!

#3 Look at things that bring back happy memories

i didn't do that today though.

but it believe it helps ;)

 #4 Paint your nails with happy colours!

i was feeling angst when i did my nails.

 i had a base of red, then i decide that

red is the not the colour. i layered another purple coat on top!

purple it is, i was kinda happy after.

if you notice the 3rd finger from the left is not purple is cos,

while i was waiting for the red coat to dry i was trying to lead my life like

usual. like fetching myself a glass of water WITH GREAT CAREFULNESS.

that nail is an evidence that my Carefulness is not enough. 

i didn't bother to  remove it so i moved on with the rest of my nails and coated the rest purple.

End result, i got ugly nails.

whahahhahaa

#5 Cam whore!!!

this method i think is the most effective one to kill blues.

i made so many silly faces and had a good laugh at myself.

#6 Repeat "Live Love Laugh!" proclaiming it and beliving it.

Bittersweet.

Cleared my room and make space enough for me to do cartwheel in my room! booya~

Graduation till now i am idle practically daily except for weekends. My weekend deployment is not longer at Mustafa, boy. i feel happy and reluctant at the same time. Not that i have any good memories left there, rather the liberty i once had. i can go for 2 hours break and take multiple breaks yet still able to hit my daily target.

i wanna move on from my current PT job, i have been saying this since last year November? my basic pay is not bad, but the company is getting real stingy now. they have been cutting back our pay and change our commission scheme that seems so hard to reach. where can you get a basic $8/ hourly and still relatively slack job and most importantly near your house?

Living your dream

Living my dreams is too hard. i need a source of motivation to keep me alive.

i was filling up the application to NAFA and what they offer is really exciting because it includes a 7 week exchange study in UK. i never been too far away from Singapore before so this seems really exciting to me. first, the question is- can i make it through the interview? What If qns next- what if i didn't make it, what is my plan B?

recently i worked for a Property agent events for 2 days and i got to know a little more about how a property agent actually earn. all i can say is the commission they earn from 1 house sold is equivalent to about 4 times my basic pay a fresh Graduate like me would get. attractive? especially at the thought of financial freedom.

i am going to give it a shot and believe in this word FAITH. till then, pray for me. thank you.

2011

hello, it was a nice countdown into 2011 with mella and some of my poly mates at Marina The Floating Platform for countdown. the fireworks was awesome. Haven't been active in blogging because FYP and my Portfolio was getting the better of me, AND my nieces. yes, they are keeping me pretty occupied too.

Chevelle the oldest make the most noise! SHARP high noise that pierce your ears and make your head spin. now the 2nd child Verlize too, keep crying non stop. phew~

2011 i am turning 21 this year! 

"2011, i need to put myself together and get organised. i have been a scattered brain for toooooooo long."

now now, i am not going Thailand anytime now. what shall i do with the money i saved? Flea it all~? nah. Get a DSLR? i used to think i Need a DSLR. i realised now i am too lazy to the extend to take photo with my compact digital cam! talking about taking photo with DSLR..? my DSLR will probably sit on the shelve and collect dust. okay i know, DSLR is under my WANT list. ;)

items that fall under my NEED list:
1. More rings
2. MORE skirts
3. More dresses
4. Bras! (seriously need)
5. i need more colours in my wardrobe!
6. new heels! ( i feel guilty saying this, i don't know why either!)

one thing about flea is that it is hard to find colours! fact. i am talking about colours other then black, white, grey and dark blue. my last flea 80% of my buys is black. i look at the heap of my new wash laundry, black is all i see. i got too many black in my wardrobe! I NEED COLOURSSSSSS.

yesterday just celebrated my elder sister birthday, missed the seafood dinner because i was got to do the SMP (shot media production) shoots.  i didn't miss the whole celebration entirely,  i manage to catch the Cake cutting session. hee.

Game addict

I was reading the November Reader Digest issue - The Lost Boy. apparently China was trying to dealt with the increasing numbers of game addicts arising among the youngster and they establish a school by the name of Qihang Salvation Training Camp, which claimed to dealt with game addicts - of course.

This is a short summary of the story:

Deng senshan, lets call it DS in short was sent to this school by his parent who felt that he had become a game addict. DS was made to run around the basketball court in the night when everyone else is sleeping. after 30 laps of running he collapsed on the floor, instead of giving him a break, the counsellor dragged him to a nearby flagpole and hit him with a wooden chair leg which broke. DS continue to run but about halfway through the court he collapsed again. this time round the counsellor took a plastic stool and swung down on the boy. DS was bleeding from this mouth, ears, eyes, and nose. he was only send to the hospital after hourS of being left in his bunk. 14 hours after arriving at the camp, he was pronounced dead.

Some other horror stories about the game addicts in China:

1. a boy butchered his father after a disagreement of internet usage
2. 2 kids passed on a railroad track after 2 days of online gaming
3. after a 36hr session of War Crafts a boy leaped off his 24th storey building, in hope to "join the heroes of the game"

The 3rd pointer is the most "digusting" one. i don't know what word to use actually to express how i feel. OMG? unbelivable? dumb? you know what? China is infamous for its IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE. still, stories like this make me feel disgusted on how inhuman  and brutal they can be.

------------------------------------------------
Came home today to find a envelope on my table from the Ministry of Health. Nope, the hospital couldn't have register my gender wrong and send me a letter for a check up for NS enlistment right? Nope they did not. is a letter they put it to Congratulate me turning 21 soon and ask me to pledge as a organ donors after death. however, i see it as a reminder that i am turning into a age of Responsibility, a age of taking charge, reminding me that i am graduating and out to work soon and i am only approximately 4 months away to the working world, to my ideal career, to......

Scary shit.

Thinking about the future is so scary. lets just take one step at a time, Portfolio first, FYP next and we will see what lays ahead after. lets not let the future "scare the shit outta me" yet.

It have been awhile

i am in my final phase of poly now, *SCREAM* "FINALLY!!!!"

school have gone more strict and iron out a new rule to punish the late bill payers, like *ahem* me. forever me, the most cruel punishment they can implement on us -student, is to block our freaking LEO which give us no access to our daily grades and CHECKING OF OUR NEW CLASS. this is the reason why i missed school on the first day of school and this year, another new rule implemented- we are only given 4 gracious precious days for non valid reason to skip school. once we skip more than that, Expel.

damn good, i just use up one of my precious 4 days skip- school- pass. involuntarily


------------------------------------------------------------------------
God bless us with many people around us so we won't feel lonely. i Thank God for all of the individual that have been bless in my life, friends that i have met and a friendship have forged. be it here, there, everywhere.

Mustafa to any normal Singaporean won't be a place that will cross your mind to find a 'friend'. interestingly, God choose to put me there and i made some friendship with our non native that came here to find their gold pot. adapting to their cultural habitual and a whole new working environment, i think i am doing fine so far. :)

i am thankful for the China girl that help me out a lot when i am not around, i communicate with her the most is most probably because we share the same race. i am thankful for all the other mustafa staff who helped me out a lot too. most of the senior staff there are pretty much a 'joker'. they always came round my counter and crank some jokes, sometimes i might i miss the joke but i will just laugh along. oh well, they make the time i had in mustafa pass more jovially.

friends that i made in school are the ones that make up the memories i had in RP. very important. friends are very important to me. isn't friends the greatest gift God have bless us?

Circumstances

can't help it but to feel a little poor thing for my niece as i watched her teared and keep calling " i want daddy mummy" in my mothers' arm when my sister and brother-in-law depart.

dinner time for my niece is always a torturous thing for her and the feeder (basically my mum, younger sis & i). she don't like to eat, she will whine and throw tantrum and usually she can take up to 3hours to finish her food. however when her father is around to feed her, she eat so willingly almost unbelievable.

i am not a mother yet, but i am one of the sub care taker of my niece. i can almost feel how it is like being in the motherhood, taking care and raising up a child. ptffffff. first thing, patient is really a NEED. at times their nonsense cry is so bad that make my head split. since i am only a Sub care taker i don't hold most of her responsibility. whenever she make a din and drive me headache i'll hid in my room, shut my door and blast music.

MUAHAHHAHAAHAH. can't blame me, i am selfish like that.


 i need my own 'escape'. in a generic way.



school is starting and yes, a new term. at this point i don't wish to continue onward, because school is basically....... yaaa

the end
bye.
abrupt end.

Butter Strawberry Honeydew

party at butter factory for the first time yesterday. i let loose and drink over the amount the i have limited myself because of DIET. oh well, i told myself since i'm already there and i need to get 'high' to enjoy so i tar cup after cup. so much of sustaining my diet plan, one night in the club i lose it all.

i had fun, butter factory is fun :)

oh the platforms that i order from Gelliz i have collected it today. i am quite disappointed with the pair Rayne that i ordered because the front is too tight that my feet is squashed inside and it hurts when i walk. :(

this is the one. i took size 39 but i think it will fit in just nice for size 38. my feet are too broad.. anybody interested in buying?????? you can drop me a msg or something.

K-POP 2NE1

i am hook on 2NE1 on youtube. their undeniable funky outfit and dance move on top of that i am more interested on how did the ones with monolid did their eye make up and make it so nice!

boy, i know i have painting my entire lid black for ages so did they! just that they do it in a better and nicer way and they wear it with so much confidence. in the past i condemn my monolid so much to the extent i cross my heart i'll get a plastic surgery in the future when i have the bucks. now thanks to them (they give me hope), i will try to learn the monolid make up and also learn to appreciate my monolid.

after so many years....i know right!

blame the industry that promote so much about double eye lid- big eye beauty can't blame me for falling into the advertising world. it had been a stereotype in the advertising world isn't it? now i guess the beauty world is searching for something new or maybe got inspired but the korean, because i see more advertisement with monolid models now a days. awesome sweet! :)

yea-yea yea-yea yea-yea 2-N-E-1~

Because

I feel like typing on the keyboard, i shall generate some nonsense here. 

i was link hopping on youtube, and found this artist

Jessie James.

her songs is nice!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-35GWbTjus&feature=channel

click on the link to listen to her songs

oh and i think Jolin tsai latest song sound really awful.

her voice just sound irritating to me.

listen to Jessie James on youtube.

VEHHHHHH NICEEEE.

My Sister keeper

yea i know everyone have watched or read the novel 10 millions years ahead, here i am just climbing out my cave trying to catch up with the movie world. sorry, i haven't even watch AVATAR the last most epic movie not-to-be-miss. sadly, i did. the lastest movie i caught was Resident Evil. amazingly i laugh when the zombies got shot. in my mind i pity the zombies, i imagine the zombies are the 'rejects' that failed to get the lead role during casting and got the zombies role instead. but they still gladly receive the role because they still get the 1 minute of fame on the big screen before being shot down. woohoo~

tears just keep welling up my eye. not now, i mean when i was watching the movie. sigh~~~ what a story.

i was reading the book and i thought i had the movie in my hard disk. bam, so i watched it. now what? complete reading the book of course.

ahhhhh~~~ story like this create an instant emotion, impact... not really, because tomorrow i'll probably forget everything until i read the pages again and get reminded of the scenes. ahhhh~~~~ damn good, i mean the movie.



my Saturday and Sunday is now fixed, Mustafa work work work and home. every weekend travelling there i'll always feel a little out of Singapore from the time i alighted from train all the way walking towards Mustafa. i will be surrounded by a large population of not my race, features that is so sharp big eye and dark skin. Little India seem like a tourist attraction place (have it been so all the while? i didn't know) because i'll always see Caucasian among the flock. come to think of it, Little India should be one of the tourist attraction place because it is part of Singapore multi racial identity. like Chinatown.

i think i just sounded dumb. i am a Singaporean alright. it just that i never view Little India as a place of attraction to me.



new words i learn today:
Oxymoron (oxy-mo-ron)
 - expression with contradictory words: a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are used together for special effect, for example, “wise fool” or “legal murder”

Emancipation  (e-man-ci-pay-tion)

 1. act of freeing: the act or process of setting somebody free or of freeing somebody from restrictions
 2. being freed: the condition or fact of being set free or freed from some restriction






these words, i doubt i'll ever use it but it is good to know.

did i ever share that there this guy that i dislike from my work place? there is this Sumsung promoter whom i really get irritated when he talk. is the way he talk and the things he say, is REALLY IRRITATING. hmmm, i think this is a bias opinion of him from me. in the past his counter was so far from mine ( i really thank God for that) that he can't possibly keep walking over to talk crap to me cos then it will be obvious that he is not working. but now the bloody Mustafa made changes to the arrangement of the counters and move his station right beside mine. i sulk the whole day at work. i refuse to talk or look in his way and avoid all means to start a conversation with him.

is obvious that i don't like him. he ask me "eh why you so quiet today?" i just go "em." in my heart, is because your counter is right beside me now and i feel choke. shit. this will be the setting for the rest of my days in Mustafa. i hate it.

yesterday i already know that the Sumsung counter have move right beside mine cos the China phone promoter sms me. so today i went prepared with a book and another phone (for surfing net) to keep myself occupied. my plan went on well. when i get bored reading, i surf the net with the phone. when i get bored playing with the phone i bury myself in the novel and when i get bored with both, i serve the come-look-don't buy-ask alot of questions customers.

i am not motivated to push sales now because i don't get commission, so what's the point? there is rumor that our pay will change. it says next month onward there will be a certain target for everyone to hit daily. if we hit the daily target we get paid at $8.50 per hour if not, we are only getting paid at $6.50 per hour. ridiculous much, if this rumor is true- i'll quit. i'll jump to Sony erricssion or Motorola or HTC or Blackberry. Lg is so 'niao pok.'

blogging from mustafa

blogging from phone is not easy, but i had so much time on hand. No costumer for me to serve. No problem.

If only there is cute guys here for me to drool over. Time will pass much sweeter, but no. There is cartons of mustache guys or trays of foreign chin chin na if you get what i mean. Handful of other asia spices What do you expect to find in mustafa?

Expect the expected.

Only occassional you'll find a cute blue eye that seems to lost his way in mustafa.

last night was EXTREME

the new word now is EXTREME.

i used to like the idea having more then one agenda in a day. i like the idea that my day is packed with different places i have to run to. for example- AMK pick up some goods in the morning, afternoon meet sister for lunch then night i'll meet another group of friends. something like this, running about from one place to another in a day.

now i don't like it anymore. i'll factor in the long travelling time from A-B, i hate the long train or bus ride. well, maybe if i have a car, i of course won't mind running about. hustle bustle busy- lazy.

partying was great, the boys were really silly. well i guess silly boys make everything fun & funny. there was this guy (not my friend) a joker, the way he dance is really EXTREME! he do power slide on the dance floor, dance like as if  in a mosh pit. he grind boys and some guys are entertaining enough to play along with him. thanks to him, we all had a real EXTREME laugh ;)

Let down

have you ever went for an job interview, the interviewee spoke with so much hope (more like false hope) that they will contact you again but they never did?

just randomly saw this excerpt:

someone who is physically disabled finally met up with his pen pal

on the day they met, the conversation seems normal.

ever since, the pen pal never wrote to him anymore.

i am just wondering...

WHY THEY SO ASSHOLE ONE!!!!

from this line onward will be my daily ra-ta-ta.

i am thinking of my next design idea...

i had Mr Ronald Mcdonald, Mr KFC and Mr Mustafa

but i don't know if i should make them into 3 villain or hero

what do you think?

the weather these days especially after the rain is mad cold.

my nose have been producing enough icky to make a bottle of glue.

cover up yourself with blanket and keep yourself warm people.

not many time in Singapore you get to walk around in blankets.

i love it when cereals on discount in NTUC.

this time round is POST TRAIL MIX CRUNCH

buy 1 and get 1 free offer :D

my loving mum bought 8 packs

do the math:

8 x 2 = 16 packs

yes, BREAKFAST planned.

breakfast have become the most important meal for me in the day,

not because after my mum bought this 16 pack

but because this will be my most heavy meal in the day,

my lunch will be light, and dinner will be NIL-

and the morning food is what i love to eat best.

60kg is no joke now.

i realise diet is not the way to slim down.

diet and exercise does.

the research told me i need 300mins of workout in a week to loss the weight

i figured that on both the weekend i'll working 

i won't be able to have time to exercise.

i'm still left for monday - fri

do the math

300 / 5 = 60min of workout per day

exercise like running, swimming, rope skipping, and even doing star jump

i'll see how long i can sustain this...

Test post

i'm blogging from phone. Testing

Perfectionist

talking to a Perfectionist always make me feel guilty, intimidated, low, self conscious to sum up, they make me feel like i've been wasting my 19years away.

i was never whole heartedly devoted in doing something or making any matter in my life- Perfect. i always swim around the border line, not the worse and the not the best. i always fall under the average group.

at this age, i am just beginning to ponder more about what is going to be ahead of me. scary.

'yea, nobody knows the answer except God'

graduation is not far away anymore. i am one step behind to the working world, one step towards my possible career. this matter of fact scare me a lot inside. i am uncertain where i can head to... i stare at my pathetic few pieces of art works in front of me... not up to standard.

i hate talking to a Beautician because they make me feel really inferior and also because i know how many grains and peas are congesting my pores- that's why i'm manufacture popcorns. tsk. in fact i don't want this vegetarian prata complexion EITHER!

i hate talking to a body perfectionist, no i don't even want to talk to them i don't want to stand near them at all!. this is obvious- because i'll feel like a lump of fats beside them. whenever i wear shorts, i just wish i hadn't because all i have to flash is my cellulites. then what the hell was i thinking then when i choose that outfit for the day?


i try to make changes right now to the way i am leading my laid back life. is like i either be the best or nothing. i don't want to be just Olivia, i want to be OLIVIA. 


you know what i mean. 
yes you do. 
yes i do.

September Comex Show

ended yesterday. damn tired.

you bet, stand the whole day from 10am-9.30pm with 2 breaks or taking a skive inside the toilet cubicle resting my ass and legs. never stand for such a long hours during work and 4 days straight. my voice is hoarse now because i need to battle my volume with the speakers' in order for my customers to hear me. if only i have a friend working with me, the minutes won't feel like hours. glad that i saw some familiar faces there and made some new friends that i often run to for chit chats.

during the breaks is the only time promoters of different brands sit around, chill-lax & chit chats but i found myself beyond tired that i can't make any coherent conversation. my tongue got twisted, the words overlapped each other can't utter a proper sentences either. bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. yea pretty much like a retard trying to speak. every night when i was making my way home my leg feel as if there is 10kg metal chain attached to it.

well there is something to be HAPPY and SURPRISE about though. I WAS NOT A SINGLE DAY LATE, and even better I WAS EARLY FOR ALL 4 DAYS!!!!!!! c'mon i think i need a standing ovation for this! i need to report there 10am everyday and i woke up at 7am each morning. :) how did i do it? the only answer is- GOD'S MIRACLE.

i have enough time to eat breakfast, take my own sweet time to get prepare and stroll to the bus stop. i need to emphasis on the word stroll because normally i'll be rushing to the bus stop. Hallelujah for this!!! it is a miracle~! really Thank God that it have ended.