yesterday i reported to work, all prepared for the worst. i put on my waterproof eye (so i won't cry), my open doors ear (so the words can enter from one and exit from the other), a stone heart (it helps to fend off all emotions). lastly i put on a cool looking 'mask' (with no expression).
i was ready to go.
and the answer is, i am no longer part of the Night Safari. i feel that my manager is someone with high expectations. a sotong like me is picking things up slower then the rest, and making more mistake then any new comer can ever afford. sooooo, "BYE BYE~"
she got a point about me not fitting into the position as a cashier. i just started working for them and i already have a accumulated shortage of $150 within a month. that is like 3/4 of my pay. last month i earned only around 200? yea, do the simple math yourself. my earning is so pathetic isn't it!
she pointed out that i look tired all the time. i am tired. i believe i am not the only one. just that i show it more obviously on my face. sorry, i am not good at disguising them. "your hair is so messy" she will always say. do you know one of MY quote is, "It is okay for my hair to be too messy, but it is NOT okay for it to be too neat."
i think one of my greatest struggle is to keep one job and like what i am doing. otherwise i feel like i'm labouring for the money. i want to earn the money and enjoy the process. i don't want to feel like a slave for it.
my holiday is coming. flea market is packing up December! this makes me excited. THEN again. i am out of job. choice 1, either i make full use of this holiday to come out with some great works that can go into my portfolio, or 2, i labour for money.
Time. very bad management of time. this time, i think i need to take a break, and think really carefully what is more important in my life right now. alot of thoughts to sort out....
