Yesterday was a deplete...

working in a temorary build up tent in a unpredictable weather is real bad. especially where we have clothes on hanger outside of the tent, when it rain kc and i just have to rush in between in bringing the rack in and cover the table of jewellery before the rain gets the better of it. in the short 5hr i think we go through this motion to and fro about 2 times?

beside the drama when the rain comes, there is pretty nothing much to do. just laid back, do crowd watching and serve the few costumer that come. the caucasian women that hire us put it, "its something like a flea but a more high class one''. touting is not very ideal? i won't want to 'lay long' on top of my voice either...

Attica was a pretty dismay, i thought i'll enjoy, i thought we'll stay till the club close like the usual. no. my sis & friends went in @8pm where the OMG party start. by the time i went, they had already partied and the alcohol have set in and wear off. the side effect have kicked it, they are tired and want to go home. i went in for about less then an hour or just an hour and we left.

:(

i know, so sad isn't it? thankfully Vic work there, my entrance is free. otherwise i'll stranggle my sister for that. at least i get to see how Attica was like, my first time inside. not a very big place but they have A LOT of staff. A LOT. hardly see any female staff, one at the entrance another i saw as a sercurity women and she is a old aunty. no kidding. i didn't even drink much, the vodka craneberry was diluted i wasn't even near high. Oh~ the R&B Dj was cute ;)

the music is okay...but you know what, i just didn't drink enough. once you're high everything is good. ;) when we were about to left, we still have about half a jug of martel mixed vodka with juice my sis made me drink all. because of that i finally feel the kick of the alcohol, but we left! -.- i was walking around with only my eye area red, like a odd looking masquer with golden hair with asian eye. you know how ugly it is when a small eye went red, it looks swollen and ewwwwwwwwww. just imagine i smear pinkish red eye shadow on my entire eye area like some wayang monster basically.

soon after the supper at BK whoopper bar we cab home, the alcohol was still taking effect on me. a little light headed but concious. i tried to sleep with it but i was still having the adrenaline rush. toss and turn in a bit before i snooz out.

share this link with you http://adelinemai.com/photography/ive-got-the-blues/ that i'm looking at now. Just look at those natural blue eyes. so beatiful~ i like the guy with the emerald shade best.

Tumblr update! sorry for the spam in twitter. i was updating my tumblr of my sketches to show my progression for my advisor. ahhhh~ i still owe my Thursday faci an Rj. hell to rj.

in procrastination of doing the REAL work....

i don't want to write the report............

Wed my Nes Day where else but home

Tumblr update!

just one poster that i have finally completed. i might rework it again along with the other works that i said i feel like reworking. for me, once i 'feel' that i have 'finally' complete one work, is like a rock that i've finally can put down. for the past 4 days i keep 'fan' over this poster. this is the exact same poster that my advisor comment it was too literal. :(  not well done enough. i feel that it is lacking of something. something,.....just something.....

my advisor gave me a new idea and ask me to work on it. a way more better and interesting one i said. That- gimme me more time, if i got spare time i'll work on it on my on coming 2 weeks of holiday along with my new assignment to design for a series of collectors stamp. theme is based on Singapore of cozzzzzzzzzzzzxzxzxzxxxzzzz. they are all going into my portfolio, so gotta make it as polish as possible.

this morning when i wake up, i hope i woke up in some nice hotel. just dreaming that i was on a holiday.

sadly no, woke up in my room @3pm, now is almost 7pm and my day have JUST started. tomorrow is my Portfolio review 2! i got a lot of drawings and research to do, otherwise i'll die tomorrow. 

& just a quick update about yesterday-

one of my friend ask us along for a short film screening @ old school. all the short films are done by foreign producer. that was an insight, for all the young aspiring film making ones like some of us. not me, i am not entire into it. but i don't mind being a part of the crew if chances come along. the process is long and tiring, but when you see your film on the screen and people actually appreciate it. you'll feel that your effort is paid off :)

after, a group of us went Timber and sabotage Zec as the birthday boy. he was invited on stage to sing a song, Collide. which he gamely did with a lot of enthusiasm. HAHAHAHAHHA! we all have a great laughed at our seats along with some beer, awesome thing crust pizza (i super love thin crust pizza!) and jumbo wings. Great food, great entertainment. caught the last train & bus home. 

well, come to think of it i think i was the one who eventually sabo him on stage. we were all SMS-ing in our song dedication. so i send "Airplane by B.O.B from the Bithday boy". that was the when the lady goes  "ohhhhh~ there is a birthday boy...blah blah blah...." before that the lady had already greeted us just as when we got seated cos we were the largest table there. she was asking if we were having some celebration and we joked it was Zech's brithday. :) get the story now? it was all a prank.

k, got to do some work now. 

just a timely reminder for myself.

eat only when you are hungry & eat MODESTLY. otherwise FAT face & FAT everywhere.

://////re-edited.

Don't feel like doing anything now

do you know what suck? is when you put in so much effort into a design only to realise your concept and idea suck. this really suck.

my face really balls up today. i really don't know what is the reason for the swell, it's an on and off thing that happen frequently. -.-

roll on, merry round face

i am sitting in the school library now after meeting my PD advisor. after talking to him i feel enlighten a little, because he helped me to identify my strength and weakness. i really needed to hear that.

i showed him the cultural poster i'm working on, feel weaken by his comment. "Too literal" he said. this itself makes me feel like committing suicide. when you get this kind of comment, it simply shout " YOU ARE NOT CREATIVE ENOUGH" yea, i know. my idea is very cliche. :(

feel too weak now to complete my work. might just present whatever i have now. :( 

piss out. bye.

Sunday is not the same again

i've not been going to church. can't wake up, this is my excuses. though each night before i sleep i told myself i must wake up for it. the following day i just give myself excuses and slept in. :( honestly i really want to turn my Sunday back like how it was in the past. where i meet my cell people, sitting together praise and worship God together. things changed. :( no effort from my side, only wishful thoughts. not enough. i really want Sunday to be like the same in the past.... when i'm typing this, i can picture Jing discouraging face and tell me this "talk only..." haaaa. yea... useless talk Olihua, like how you always say you want to be punctual for school. you may really have the heart of Wants to achieve it, but no effort and action seen. talk will only remain as talk.

:(

boooooooooo

the sun, the weather looks beautiful & sunny outside my window. here i am bother and being self absorb. self conscious... my elder sister said i had a pear body, undeniably-yes i agree. i have realise this long long long time ago. pttfff. very disappointing because she added in order to have a pear body it comes with a small boob and she go on and draw similarities between her best friend and me. both her best friend & i are small chested heavy bottom. this is the thing about being women, having a pear shaped body is bad because it makes you looks bulky and clumsy, above all- fashion like high waisted, tight jean/ skirts are a taboo to us. screw you pear body.

this is the only time that i wish my body proportion will switch, the small petite boob to the bottom and my humongous butt to my chest. having a bigger breast is better then having a bigger butt because at least you can  flaunt your big asset (cleavage), unlike a huge butt, you just want to hide it behind the cotton.

booo boo boooooo. give that a triple boooo.

ironically, there was once i went all heck- care and went out with a high waisted vintage purple pants with a tuck in black spag & deck in heels waddle around Orchard in the broad daylight. yes i know, i'm crazy much. my huge ass is all out attention seeking. so huge that you can't possibly miss it especially that light purple pant simply emphasis it further more. haaaaaaaaa. I'M INSANE. come to think of it now, i petty all those that walked behind me cos my unsightly huge ass have just turn their day green- Disgusted TTM (to the max).

i'm sorry, not sincerely. HA! that day i was really bother about this pear body thing. why a boobies gets a thumb up and a huge ass gets a kick out? like why can one flaunt a huge breast and feel proud and confident but a huge ass needs to feel embarrass about it- just because of the social stereotype and how the media portray what is sexy? so i took the dare and went out against the human perception of beauty. result? i don't know. HA. I-Don't- Care.

dare me again to wear the same outfit to Orchard, i might think twice now. told you, i was really out of mind that day. you can try getting me a little bit tipsy and try convincing me again to take the dare. ;) i might even go bare. HA, joke. never in my conscious mind i said.


woohoo, that's all folks
gotta get back to my design work
more eye straining to do.
yesterday i don't know how many hours i spend doing my design, but i remember my vision went blurred before i knock out on my bed.

see ya.

Tight

woke up @ 3 plus in the afternoon today. if not for the call from Jing, i might sleep till 5! 

woke up for 3hours, watch some TV show eat and 6pm already. 3 quarter of my day gone. Jing call and ask me out, but i rejected because i needed to work on my poster design. i feel bad for rejecting the outing, i never/ hardly reject any outing with friends. unless my circumstances don't allow. i am not talking about staying back home to study, but like i'm sick or i am going out.

ahhh... this annoying poster i am working for one of my module, Design studio. i really crack my brain on this Problem- "design a poster that reflects on cultural diversity and people of Singapore".

first is the technology, i was thinking to draw it out on paper and get it scan and after trace it out with illustrator.
the problem is, very troublesome.

second, go straight to the point, draw it out on illustrator. the problem is, IT IS SO HARD TO CONTROL YOUR STORKES WITH THE MOUSE! not even Wacom makes drawing easier. ptffff.

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my mum just came back with ta bao food from my grandmother's house. i am feeling very full to sit down!

just gave some thoughts to my future career and the me in the near future. i am sort of complaining for having to sit and arching my back, spending long hours over the computer. frowning and stressing over my design/ concept/ ideas, whether or not my design convey the message across.

having to eat walnuts to clam my stress down and balance the bitter taste out with raisin. soon you'll realise too much sweetness from the raisin makes you gag. i'll eat walnut to 'remove' the sweet taste and the cycle continues till my stomach is filled with walnuts and raisins.

why walnut you may ask, it was a coincident. i was working on my design and felt so stress and feel like taking it out on food. something hard like biscuits? on a second thought binge on biscuits is fattening. i found some walnuts on the table and thought they have the same hard properties. and wowlaaaaa~ experiment succeed. walnuts did effectively and almost instantly remove those stressing brows on my forehead! :D

relax enough, i need to get back to work. Time IS running OUT.

Woohooooo

(i don't know what to title)

i don't really want to talk about my FYP. feel like hiding my head under the water and go for a swim  for awhile before facing all the banana apple orange mango pineapple again...

scratch that.

 stress.

just done updating my Tumblr with 2 poster i've done. not satisfied with both my works.... i'll rework on the UT poster again.

*warning! both poster are very LOADED, might cause headache after/ during viewing*

i like the noise that is happening now around my house

there is-

music & noise coming from this group of boys doing B-boying at the deck, 

the cracking sound from the mechanics at the fitness corner, 

favorite hangout for the healthy-elderly-wannabes.

and

there is music from my radio

some random barking from the dogs.

silence

the weather is totally cool.

my feet feels cold on the marble titles

feeling calm

though my head is not.

somewhere at the back of my mind i'm worried about my FYP & PD

ayeh, just don't want to think about it now...

that's all

roll on cheese buns.

Oh no, my high fever killed Thinking Cells

today in class i don't seems to be able to visualize a thing. we were doing perspective & figure drawing today. we were to think of a posture and draw. this isn't hard isn't it? but i can't seem to work my brain to visualize it. :(
highly suspect my high fever yesterday night kills many good cells. :(

i am still sick since last Sat, Sunday morning i woke up i feel weak, feverish, giddy, cold...for the entire Mother's Day i spent it on my bed. Most to most, i wake up for 5mins to eat some medication then went back to sleep again. My most tormenting day since the last time i fell sick.

now still under medication to suppress my fever, develop a cough now, hurt my throat from coughing too hard. Took so much medication today that is enough to make me drowsy. i fell asleep half way when my Faci was showing us a tutorial video on how to draw perspective figures. i drifted in and out of dreams in the mid of of my UT (understanding test). i can't stay awake! i finished my paper of course, passing it is another question.

No matter what, Mum is still the best

talk about mum, Mothers' Day is approaching isn't it? i would love to bring her out for a dinner, bet all the restaurant will jack up their price on this season. plus, i am not working now, my wallet feel so blue.

yesterday my sister called us (siblings) home for some 'emergency' meeting. aiya chey, nothing really mind blowing. my mum and sister went to see the lawyer yesterday, my mum Finally decided to file a divorce with my dad. my sister want to hear from us, how we feel and all. i was chilled, even my sister was surprised about my cooled appearance.

well actually while i'm on my way home i had mentally prepared myself by praying and ask God to help me to accept whatever the outcome is and look on the brighter side. like i get to move to a new house/ environment.. i get a new room..etc- this kinda excites me somehow. over the years people with eyes in the family can see and somewhat expected this day to come.

once in the past when my mum broke out that she wanted to get a divorce i felt devastated. i seems to be the most affected one then. ever since then i have been thinking about the pros and cons and learn that my mum need her freedom too. freedom from this torturing thought that her husband is out there to be with someone then coming home to be with us.

i had get over the hatred towards my dad. he hadn't intervene my life much in my upbringing years. except you are talking about all those years of lashing we sisters used to get from him. good memories that i had with my dad are few and nostalgic. back when we were younger my dad would bring the family at least once in the week for a swim, and he was the one who encouraged and taught us how to swim. i loved the times when he drove us around for a spin after dinner. he likes to bring us to the jetty and enjoy the night breeze which always stunk of fish.

i will also remember the first Happy brithday sms i received from him on my 19th birthday. it may seems nothing amazing to you, but he NEVER sent it before, so that sms to me, was the best.

it gets me all brawling in tears now. how silly.

this issue will probably takes a few months before everyone get settled down and move on to a new location. this house that i'm staying will be even out between my parents. till then, many paperworks needs to be done.

i am graduating in the months to come, this means i am out to work after that. then, i'll be helping to pay the home bills.......

blues....
more blues....

i still want to shop freely...! i can imagine myself coming home and frown at the bills my mum thrown at me.

blues....
more more more blues....

i can't think on any brighter side when i think of this. i can only tell myself to PRAY MORE that things will not turn out that way.

don't worry, i am strong and i am always okay :)
good day.
bye!