Sunday is not the same again

i've not been going to church. can't wake up, this is my excuses. though each night before i sleep i told myself i must wake up for it. the following day i just give myself excuses and slept in. :( honestly i really want to turn my Sunday back like how it was in the past. where i meet my cell people, sitting together praise and worship God together. things changed. :( no effort from my side, only wishful thoughts. not enough. i really want Sunday to be like the same in the past.... when i'm typing this, i can picture Jing discouraging face and tell me this "talk only..." haaaa. yea... useless talk Olihua, like how you always say you want to be punctual for school. you may really have the heart of Wants to achieve it, but no effort and action seen. talk will only remain as talk.

:(

boooooooooo

the sun, the weather looks beautiful & sunny outside my window. here i am bother and being self absorb. self conscious... my elder sister said i had a pear body, undeniably-yes i agree. i have realise this long long long time ago. pttfff. very disappointing because she added in order to have a pear body it comes with a small boob and she go on and draw similarities between her best friend and me. both her best friend & i are small chested heavy bottom. this is the thing about being women, having a pear shaped body is bad because it makes you looks bulky and clumsy, above all- fashion like high waisted, tight jean/ skirts are a taboo to us. screw you pear body.

this is the only time that i wish my body proportion will switch, the small petite boob to the bottom and my humongous butt to my chest. having a bigger breast is better then having a bigger butt because at least you can  flaunt your big asset (cleavage), unlike a huge butt, you just want to hide it behind the cotton.

booo boo boooooo. give that a triple boooo.

ironically, there was once i went all heck- care and went out with a high waisted vintage purple pants with a tuck in black spag & deck in heels waddle around Orchard in the broad daylight. yes i know, i'm crazy much. my huge ass is all out attention seeking. so huge that you can't possibly miss it especially that light purple pant simply emphasis it further more. haaaaaaaaa. I'M INSANE. come to think of it now, i petty all those that walked behind me cos my unsightly huge ass have just turn their day green- Disgusted TTM (to the max).

i'm sorry, not sincerely. HA! that day i was really bother about this pear body thing. why a boobies gets a thumb up and a huge ass gets a kick out? like why can one flaunt a huge breast and feel proud and confident but a huge ass needs to feel embarrass about it- just because of the social stereotype and how the media portray what is sexy? so i took the dare and went out against the human perception of beauty. result? i don't know. HA. I-Don't- Care.

dare me again to wear the same outfit to Orchard, i might think twice now. told you, i was really out of mind that day. you can try getting me a little bit tipsy and try convincing me again to take the dare. ;) i might even go bare. HA, joke. never in my conscious mind i said.


woohoo, that's all folks
gotta get back to my design work
more eye straining to do.
yesterday i don't know how many hours i spend doing my design, but i remember my vision went blurred before i knock out on my bed.

see ya.